The Virtues of Being Alone

I am alone. For most people, when they have an issue, they turn to friends and family for advice, reassurance, and/or assistance. I don't have anyone to turn to; instead, I face each day, each issue alone. And I face some of the most serious issues one can imagine. Truth is, I've never had anyone I could turn to for help. At first glance, this may seem depressing. Being alone in the big bad world can be frightening. However, I have begun to realize that being alone affords me a degree of freedom that would not otherwise be possible. My feelings are my own. I do not have to justify them to anyone. My failures are my own. I can't blame anyone. My successes (admittedly few and far between, but at this point I'm counting the ability to form a semi-coherent thought as a success) are mine and mine alone. Realizing all of this is important because it allows me to confront my imminent death from a unique perspective. I suffer in solitude, and the suffering is mine too. The pain is mine. The fear is mine. The anger is mine. The disappointment is mine. I don't have to share any of it with anyone. I am alone.

 A winter's day

In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.